Many college students change their major, and some dread telling their family
about it. If you fall into this camp, don’t worry. If presented properly, you
can solicit their support. Here are some techniques to help you break the ice
and prepare for the conversation.
1. Start the conversation early.
The longer you wait, the more shocked your parent(s) will be. They might also
be hurt that you did not seek their input. If you think you can wait because you
view them as aloof and disinterested, be careful. They could just be acting this
way because they do not want to directly influence your decision. Make no
assumptions, and take the initiative to begin the discussion.
2. Focus on your common ground and understand that they have good
intentions.
Both you and your family want you to be successful and happy. If they ask
tough questions, it is only because they want to confirm that you are making an
informed decision. Reframe this as a valuable resource rather than
lecturing.
3. Lead with the facts instead of emotional appeals.
Identify the reasons you disliked your initial major. Then share the research
you have collected about yourself and your options. If you met with or shadowed
a professional in the field, share the information you acquired. This dispels
the misconception that you made the decision impulsively, while also helping
them learn more about your new program of study.
4. Celebrate the experience.
Mention that nearly half of all college students change their major before
they graduate. This will help them understand that this exploration is not only
common, but it is also beneficial. Tragically some college students ignore their
dissatisfaction, only to have it surface later when it is too late. You,
however, have had the courage to proactively look for alternatives, which will
improve your motivation, concentration and chances of securing satisfactory
employment after graduation.
5. Be realistic.
No career or academic program is perfect. Identify any disadvantages that
surfaced in your research to demonstrate that you have examined it from every
angle.
6. If some concerns still remain, identify the course of action you
will take to address them.
For example, if you learned that the job outlook is only growing at an
average rate in your new occupation, outline the internships, employment or
co-curricular activities that you will pursue to gain a competitive edge.
7. Provide some peace of mind.
For instance, share that you will be meeting with an advisor to develop a
plan of study to ensure that you do not need to extend your graduation date.
This again conveys your careful analysis of the decision and reassures your
family members that you will not incur additional tuition expenses as the result
of the change. Also emphasize the activities you will pursue to verify your
decision, such as finding a part-time job related to your new major or enrolling
in an introductory class. Continue to share your confirmation over time in case
they fear that you will be dissatisfied or change your mind again.
8. Provide specific examples of how they can learn about your new
major or career.
Share with your parent(s) the websites that you have visited, such as your
university’s catalog,
O*Net or the
Occupational Outlook Handbook.
9. Ask for their support.
Emphasize that you value your family’s input and hope that they can
come to share your enthusiasm about the new career you have chosen.
10. Assess the importance of your own voice and the voice of
others.
More than likely, your culture and background will influence your
perceptions. Some Americans value independence, while others value communal
decision making. Only you can determine the role and importance others will play
in the process.
If you have shared with your parents that you changed your major, how did the
conversation go? What tips or suggestions would you add to this list?
Written by Billie Streufert, Director of the Academic Success Center at the University of
Sioux Falls in South Dakota.
